So True, Jon, So True

Joie passed away a year ago today...July 30. It has been an especially tough week but we are getting through it. Jill and I spent the day together and stayed busy. The "So True" in the title is what Joie would have said except she would have used a fake Brooklyn accent.

It has been a hard twelve months for both Jill and me and the next twelve may be hard as well. I have a feeling that I'm coming out of the woods, so to speak, but I've felt that way before....it takes time. In a way it is like that cartoon of the guy pushing the rock up the mountain...you make some progress but fall back sometimes. I think that eventually the rock will get smaller, the mountain will get lower, or the guy will get stronger.

Lately I've become a disciple of Jon Arbuckle, as you can tell. Jill turned me on to Jon's pearls of wisdom. I never thought of him as a philosopher. It is uncanny how he seems to hit the nail on the head just in time to match my mood...sort of on a parallel track (scary, really scary, isn't it?). He is much better on his own without Garfield.

But -- Watson and I are a far cry from Jon and Garfield. Watson is just as demanding and he is a very "robust" cat as Oksana would possibly say. But lately he has lost some weight because I put him on a diet and he now has a waist and you can find his ribs. He also is much more playful now. Some of that I think is due to the several months that he had Iris in the house. He rediscovered how to play and now that he has lost a pound he is enjoying it more. He drags his Barbie doll out of his toy basket and slaps her around and than lays on her. I think Barbie needs a lawyer. It is strange that both Watson and Purro have been enticed by that same Barbie doll.

I'm going through the house trying to get rid of stuff as I attempt to "downsize" but I keep finding little time bombs. I found a large container filled with Jill's old Cabbage Patch dolls and some other stuffed animals and dolls. I thought Joie had gotten rid of that stuff but she put it away in a storage closet. Jill went through some of that stuff today.....a few got saved but Eric, the much-loved Cabbage Patch doll, is too far gone to save.

For a while I stopped looking at family vacation videos and some family pictures thinking that it was making things harder for me. I was also just way too busy for a few months as I was trying to get my land in New Mexico. I got out the video of our trip to British Columbia this past week and really enjoyed looking at it again. I probably need to see that stuff from time to time since we had such good times and they bring back good memories.

All Hat & No Cattle

Well, par'ners. I got me my little piece of sagebrush, finally. Consider this an invite to come out to the ranch for a round-up onct I git settled. Unfortunately most of the livestock is not the herding kind so it might be a little stressful for all concerned. You won't be needing a lariat but some good tough gloves might be good. They also have a tendency to eat each other so we sort of have to keep 'em separated.

There's always plenty to do around the ranch. The skies are not cloudy all day, 'cept during the monsoon season, that is....which is right now. Down the hill there's the local casino and the Indian ruins. Coronado was sort of an unwelcome guest way back when. The old mission is up the road about 45 minutes and that is one pretty drive. The bosque is always green if you get too much sand, cactus and sagebrush and I know of a couple wineries down there that are pretty good. My Indian neighbors are all friendly, especially at the casino. Bernalillo is growing up but is still very much a sleepy old river valley farm town. Knowing a little Spanish would be good but 17th or 18th century Spanish might be even better.

For right now I'm just going to sit on the ranch and not do anything for maybe a year and a half. I'm just not ready to move forward with moving. The house plan can wait. I'm still a little unsure about it but it is mostly what I want. The real estate market should improve by then, as well. I notified the builder and the banker but I haven't heard anything back yet.

Seeking Closure

My new closing date is Thursday but the bank thought they could send the money by wire on Tuesday if we have the right dollar amount. Ha Ha Ha Ha! (excuse me) The title company must send me the updated dollar amount but I didn't have anything yet on Monday night. Tuesday morning I reminded them that I needed the dollar figures and they said they would send them that morning. Right.... So I contacted them again later in the afternoon to see where the numbers were and -- surprise, surprise -- somebody didn't send them like they were supposed to...but they would send them right away. The e-mail finally came in four minutes before my bank closed. Some of the paperwork was titled lot #16 instead of #17 but that got fixed. What does it take to close on this lot? Now it is Wednesday and it seems that everything has sort of fallen into place -- the money transfer has been sent and all the paperwork has been signed and sent....well in advance of Thursday's closing. Getting the property closing over with will make things easier. I don't have any reservations on buying the lot but I'm still in a quandary on the house design....size and cost.


I got the word from my insurance company last week that they won't pay anything for my new roof. My agent got pissed and called them and now I have another visit scheduled for a claims adjuster but this time they want my roofer to be here to hash things out. I'm looking forward to a fist fight in my front yard. I just need to just get it done. The cost of roofing materials has gone up 30% since the first of the year and the longer I wait the more costly it gets. If the insurance still won't pay anything I'll probably go with Lowes and put it on my account. They say thay can't do it until September because stockpiles of material are depleted due to Katrina and other disasters that the roofing suppliers weren't prepared for.

I had a real estate agent come by last Saturday to look at the house and give me suggestions on what I need to do. My fix-up budget is pretty much consumed by the new roof and my portion of the new A/C unit I just put in. She didn't have any big ticket fixes.....mostly get rid of wall paper and repaint...also declutter and organize the basement and garage. She didn't have any good news either but she seemed hopeful and she knows the local market. She will be back on Friday with a detailed market analysis. I'm working on a few things and I have the storage unit available to store some things so I can make room while I make the improvements downstairs.

I talked to my financial guy today, too. I'm consolidating some stuff so I don't have accounts all over creation and monthly statements from multiple sources that pile up. He takes a rational and objective look at things and I like his approach to how things need to work. He doesn't panic the way I do with some of the financial stuff.

I'm coming up on the one-year mark for Joanne's passing and I'm surprising myself that I'm still pretty much emotionally exhausted. I'm not very far along dealing with my feelings. That is probably why I'm having some difficulty making decisions...or final decisions. I make decisions right and left and then do it all over again the next day. I am not ready to decide on the house...new one or old one. I have a lot of things that I can't get rid of yet. I have a doll collection and about 150 Santa Clauses along with bunches of other similar high-quality stuff that I can't move to NM but I can't yet part with. Pretty much regardless of what information and advice I get from the real estate agent, and now supported by advice from my financial guy, I'm going to hold off on the new house for a year or so. Even if the money isn't an issue, I don't have the emotional energy to rush into the new house construction project and devote attention to that as well as repair and update the old house for resale and downsizing....all in a little more than six months. Even after it is ready to sell the house might be on the market for several months. I have no good reason to rush into this....my building lot will still be there one or two years from now.

Brass Tacks

On Monday I got the elevation drawings for the house plan and also an e-mail from the builder with preliminary cost estimates. The numbers were way outside of any ballpark I was in. It took me about 45 minutes before I could even respond and then it was to apologize for wasting every one's time. She came back with lower numbers and we went back and forth all day. I came up a long way and she came down a long way but we were still too far apart on that house. So now it gets down to some serious cutting. I suggested on Monday night that we part as friends rather than butt heads on this and she said she would try some more numbers over night. I agreed to do the same.

On Tuesday we weren't talking much. I got the closing papers from the title company and the closing costs were only $81.00 which was good news. I also got a pep talk phone call from the mortgage banker (at the urging of the builder I found out) and we went over some of the details of the construction loan. It was reassuring that I can qualify for a huge loan but that isn't my plan. So we are still looking at numbers, probably on a slightly smaller house with fewer bells and whistles. I never wanted a luxury house and that is what those first numbers represented so cutting some of the fluff is easy. I still need walls and a roof and the basics and I still want quality but not something that is pretentious. The builder really enjoys putting in the luxury stuff...that is what makes her day. She wants to do a finished product with nothing left to do. I'm looking for a nice house but with things that I can do to it. I need to have some projects to look forward to.

We will get there eventually. I'm going ahead with the closing on the lot this week. I know this is going to work itself out and I know that this is what I want to do if at all possible.

Wednesday I got the banking portion of the closing started and faxed the paperwork. I'm surprised at how long it takes to "wire" money. I thought technology was farther along than this but I guess there are safeguards and I'm glad that they don't just ship money around willy-nilly. They don't, right?

Apparently, because I'm dealing with multiple Federal Reserve districts just to get the money collected into one account and then two districts to send it on to the title company I'm looking at possibly seven days. We had to file another extension to postpone the closing until Thursday of next week. Seems like everyone is POed but too damn bad. I want to slow this whole parade down a little anyway.

Attack of the Flip-Flopper

Alas. I must admit that I am a Flip-Flopper. I'm trying to keep it under control but I look at the house plans and decide one thing one day and then go back to the plans the next day and change it back the way it was. That wouldn't be so bad except we are under the gun racing a deadline and flip-flopping causes extra work.

It is hard to be 1,000 miles away from the action in the house design process. It takes a couple days for the plans to reach me when Max makes changes. I got the second version yesterday and I already have changes that I e-mailed but it will be next week sometime before I see the next drawings. He is working on the elevation drawings but we are also re-hashing some of the interior spaces and features.

Max and Betty know what they are doing and I am really impressed with what I've seen so far. Sometimes we have misunderstandings because we are not using the same vocabulary or the same knowledge base. I didn't know that there were free-standing, drop-in and slide-in stoves. I knew there were stove tops and regular stoves. I also didn't realize stoves normally were only 30 inches wide...until I went and looked for 36 inch stoves. What I've been calling a 'basin' sink for the bathroom is apparently a 'vessel' sink but Betty thought I was talking about a 'pedestal' sink. I think we will have similar problems with the driveway but the building code calls for an "all weather" driveway but doesn't define the term. Is that pavement, gravel, asphalt or what?

I think we have too many choices sometimes. If we had fewer choices there would be fewer "flip-floppers"

Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch

Sometimes I don't know whether I'm coming or going. I'm learning how to live without air conditioning in mid-Missouri humidity and heat. Watson, on the other hand is not accepting this new lifestyle so I had to go buy him his own fan that he lays in front of during the hottest part of the day. I have rediscovered my shorts that I put away some time ago and haven't worn in a couple years. We are sleeping in the basement on the futon and doing OK. I have a TV there and I'm closer to the beer. My air conditioner unit is waiting to be fixed after the fatal lightning strike. Apparently I'm on the schedule and they are getting the unit and needed parts. The insurance company said they would pay half, minus my deduct able, but that's fine since it was old. They sent me a check....lets just do it!

NEWS FLASH: My air conditioner arrives tomorrow at 7:30 AM!!!!

It is an entirely different story on the roof problem. I'm getting ready to go to war with the same insurance company. I had three roofers come out and all three said I had hail damage. The insurance adjuster comes out and spends twenty minutes on the roof and doesn't see any hail damage...but he says I have defective shingles and I need to try to get the manufacturer (GAF) to pay for the roof...right. He also told me I could climb up on the roof with a caulk gun and try to find where water was leaking in and squirt some caulk into the leaking places. Even if I wanted to do that or even if that was an appropriate fix, he spray painted stuff on my roof so now I have a leaky roof with the adjuster's spray painted crypto-graffiti on the roof. What an A-hole. I've had the same insurance company for 30 years and no claims until this month and then, coincidentally, I have two claims. About half the people in a radius of a mile have had new roofs put on because of hail damage....but mine is due to defective shingles. I put a new roof on the house just six yeaers ago.

Also, (TaDa!!) the local water company came out today and exchanged my water meter for a new one. That is great. I've been hoping they would come into the 21st century sooner or later. Since we have lived here in Jefferson City we have always read our own meter and then sent in a little usage tag and our payment for the amount used based on the chart they gave us. The meter is in a hole in the front yard so every month Joie or I would go out, lift the lid, and and peer down the hole on our hands and knees and try to read the numbers on the meter. Neither rain nor hail nor snow nor dark of night was supposed to delay our trek to the meter hole....right. We ended up estimating it most winters and then in the spring and early summer the hole filled up with water and we couldn't even see the meter so we had to guess at the usage and the bill. We played catch-up or had to slow down the rest of the year when we could actually see the meter after wiping off the mud. So now we will get a bill in the mail with the actual usage and the billing amount printed right on it. Wow!

Preliminary plans

Wow. I got the preliminary plans this morning and I'm impressed. Seeing the ideas and likes/dislikes that I shared with the builder and designer rendered on a floor plan aligned on the property in the way I want it is exciting. It turned out to be different from what I had visualized but as I went over it today it seemed very logical and looks like a very workable plan. I was expecting kind of a re-make of some of the other plans I'd seen but this is different. Sorry I can't show it but it is way too big to scan.

The lot is aligned north and south with the good views on the east and trending toward the north side. The house is aligned diagonally from the northwest to the southeast with outdoor space and glass oriented toward the views.

From the street, only the garage, a bedroom window and the entry courtyard and portal are really visible. There is a courtyard in the front and a larger one in the back. There are three covered patios or portals.

They managed to get almost all of what I wanted into a package of 1,740 square feet. I sent back a bunch of questions and comments this evening so I should hear back in a little while.